drewprops.com » sexy

Facebook’s Secret Control Panel

drew — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:52:55 +0000

NOTE: Facebook has made changes and this option no longer appears to work as of September 2009. It was neat while it lasted!

Are you tired of seeing how all your “friends” are goofing off on Facebook? Do you really care if Sam Fiddlefark just took the “Which Piece of Cheese Do I Smell Like” quiz? Did you actually want to know that Finellopi Twankshaft just bought 137 people a Sexy Cocktail From Her Bellybutton or that Lorna McDufflebagg just scored 835 points playing KittenSmash?

Thought not.

I suppose then that you aren’t especially all that interested in attending the “Drive Your Pet To The Mall Day” except, perhaps, as a masked assassin atop a nearby bell tower with a high powered assault rifle and a 5-gallon bucket of armor-piercing bullets.

Thought not.

Don’t you love it when I post 20 minute long videos of myself listening to iTunes at work?

Thought not. (though I must say it hurts to actually hear you admit that you don’t enjoy them)

The good news is that you’re not alone in being tired of all of the extra noise on Facebook these days, and that your lack of interest in exercising your constitutional rights to “Vote NO to Blue Typefaces on Facebook!!” doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person.

A bit surly perhaps, but not bad (unless you actually wander off and do that whole bell tower thing).

Look, as cantankerous as you may be, you aren’t alone in your growing dissatisfaction with Facebook’s tendency to show you every burp, hiccup, and fart from the people on your Friends List.

If only there were some way to adjust the flow of information percolating from your friends’ fingertips…..

Oh, well, the good news is: YOU CAN!!!

The bad news is that the solution is HIDDEN.

Unless you click on Drewprops’ Secret Cool Facebook Control Panel Link Thingy {clicky here}.

Recent interface refinements to Facebook.com’s homepage are the first signs of hope that the massively popular site may eventually be moving to revamp the confusing and tangled nest of privacy, feed, and application controls that most users currently avoid. But until that day arrives, here is one solid action you can take to make your experience on Facebook a little nicer.

First of all, let’s start with something we can all appreciate (especially the older ones in the audience): an analog interface. In other words, buttons and dials, levers and switches. Lots and lots of knobs. Mechanical interfaces are, arguably, the most logical means for the human brain to interface with a device since we are in fact analog devices ourselves.

If you haven’t done so already, click the “Drewprops Secret Cool Facebook Control Panel Link Thingy” (above) or consult the image at the beginning of this article.

Look familiar?
Yep, it’s an equalizer, just like on your old stereo system.

An equalizer is a series of slide switches which allow you to increase and reduce the volume of any number of channels and frequencies. In the case of Facebook, instead of tweaking bass and treble, it’s used to control the frequency of posts you see on a range of topics.

Those topics currently include:

Events
Groups
Photos
Notes
Relationships
Friends
Wall Posts
Profiles
Status
Links
Videos

Want to see more photos from your friends? Slide the Photos button to the top. Perhaps you just got out of a relationship and you flinch every time you see your friends posting updates about their own love lives. To hide in your hole, just slide the Relationship slider down to the bottom, where your heart lies

Blacklists and Whitelists
Everyone has a friend or two that they “stalk” on Facebook, and everyone has a few friends they merely tolerate and would rather push to the back burner if possible. This is what the IT industry calls whitelists and blacklists and the lower portion of this control panel will afford you the opportunity to set up to 195 of your friends on either list (black or white), and like any name-centric text-entry field on Facebook, as soon as you begin typing in a friend’s name a list of ready-to-click names will pop up, based on your spelling. Get it right.

The powerful combination of controlling the volume of feed types and explicitly specifying certain friends’ importance-ranking will undoubtedly allow you black-hearted churls to begin to enjoy your Facebook experience once again. Trust me, I made 3,846 points in the “How To Write a Helpful Article About Facebook” game.

Didn’t you see that in your feed?

Hosket Redux

drew — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 00:00:28 +0000

This past Tuesday, April 1st, I returned to Philips Arena with the Sharps to thrill again to the fantastic game of hockey. As I detailed in my post of May 25th, the hockey girls use big scoops to collect shaved ice from the rink. While I haven’t figured out exactly where it goes yet, I have managed to capture video of the game itself!

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Mary-Lynn Rajskub’s Amazingly Animated Ass

drew — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 05:44:41 +0000

If you’re not a fan of the Fox television series ‘24′ you’re probably unaware that actress Mary-Lynn Rajskub has become the gold standard for sexy nerd girls with her portrayal of super computer jockette Chloe O’Brien. Mary-Lynn’s pouty lips, her thousand pixel stare and breathless delivery of lines like “deactivation of the encrypted file relay” has ensured that she will forever be lusted after by pear-shaped code jockeys the world over (myself included). What’s funny is that I’ve done two shows featuring Mary-Lynn: the first was “Run Ronnie Run” (her scenes were shot in LA), and “Sweet Home Alabama”. It was on “Sweet Home” that I became forever fascinated with Mary-Lynn’s ass.

We were shooting in Crawfordville, a little town between Atlanta and Augusta. It was a scene in the movie when Reese’s character Melanie stops by the bank to get some money after discovering that there are no ATMs in the fictional town of Pigeon Creek. As it turns out, Mary-Lynn’s character Dorothea is the only teller in that small town bank and she proceeds to have a page or two of dialogue with Melanie.

Director of Photography Andrew Dunn likes to “blow out” a room with light, which he accomplishes by having the electricians put a 10k or a 12k inside of the room, aimed toward the ceiling. Incredibly bright, they fill a space with light and help to bring a shot to life. Unfortunately they’re really, really HOT. A call came across the radio for someone from props to run a box fan over to the bank set.. I’m not sure if it was my co-2nd, George Lee, or 1st AD Louis D’Esposito. Regardless, I walked the box fan into the building, dodged under a tangle of C-stands and slipped into the space behind Mary-Lynn. They were really trying to get that scene finished and were rolling hot and heavy so I pulled up an applebox beside grip Gary Oldknow and sat quietly, contemplating an upcoming Christmas party that I’d been invited to by a girl I’d met earlier that year. Gary tapped my arm with the back of his hand to get my attention and when I looked up he silently nodded in the direction behind me so I pivoted around to look.

At first I didn’t see anything. When they called “rolling” I kept looking in that direction and suddenly realized that we had a great view of Mary-Lynn’s ass. She had on blue jeans and though they weren’t skin tight they were snug enough to outline her shape. Ding. In walks Reese from outside, trades comments with the security guard, walks to the counter. Ding. Mary-Lynn starts talking to Reese.

And her ass starts “talking”.

Every time Mary-Lynn spoke her butt muscles twitched. It was if her jaw muscles were wired to her tush. The way her ass pulsed was mesmerising, I couldn’t take my eyes off that ass. Glancing back at Gary, I received an ever-so-slight nod that I had spotted what he wanted me to see.

The next take? The same, maybe artsier twitching.

Mary-Lynn, you had me at “squishy-squishy”.

You can find photos from “Sweet Home Alabama” in my “Sweet Home Alabama” Gallery on Flickr! [thanks to traffic from Fark I realized that this link was broken - it's now repaired, enjoy!]

Your Pal,
Drew

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